Petty Theft and The Cabinet of Snacks

A visit to my grandparents’ house would not be complete without raiding the pantry. Since I can remember, I’ve waited with fervent glee for the moment to arrive when the surrounding pantry area empties and allows for petty theft. I glace around, searching for possible witnesses, and open the door to exotic pantry pleasure. Yes. Exotic.


Keebler and Hostess would never stock such a cabinet (Although, an occasional Cheeto can be found on special occasions…). I enjoyed my first chocolate jelly ring in that closet and also, my first meringue. Numerous times, I’ve consumed unreasonable quantities of insipid Italian cookies, which as contraband seemed positively delectable.

This habit of unauthorized snacking has remained steadfast with age and time and yet, I KNOW that full access to the pantry would be granted if I only asked. (In fact, it is probably implicit that as adults we can snack whenever we please, but just make-believe with me for adventures’ sake.)


Just recently, I visited my grandparents with my cousin, who joined me in pantry venturing. She and I searched through the massive stash of food (To a stranger, it might appear as though my grandma is preparing for the apocalypse. This is not the case.)

We found treasure. The staple items, such as jelly rings, malted balls and a bar of Milka chocolate, glistened from the shelf as usual, but there was more. Most notably, we uncovered a box labeled, “Choco Banana,” and another box with Chinese characters, a panda bear and labeled as chocolate-covered chestnuts.


Its odd to me how these things come to enter my grandmother’s pantry in the first place. I’m also pretty sure that if I didn’t consume them, they would remain untouched until the next time I visited. Are they gifts that people have given her? If so, why would you ever give someone suspect looking chocolate-covered banana candies?

We each took a bite of Choco Banana. They had a strange, spongy, yellow interior with an overwhelming banana flavor that dominated over the chalky chocolate coating. Was it gummy inside? I’m not sure. Was it cakey? Not quite. We carefully wrapped the box back up and returned it to its home.

We each took a bite of chocolate chestnut concoction. They were received with exchanged looks of curiosity and silently slipped back onto the shelf. I would never describe such a novelty in detail. The product has a mystery to it that I believe should remain intact. I wouldn’t want to deny anyone the pleasure of the discovery process.

Overall, it was a highly successful snack-sneaking escapade. You never know what you’ll find in your grandmother’s pantry. Good stuff. Or at least an adventure. It’s worth taking a peek…




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3 responses to “Petty Theft and The Cabinet of Snacks

  1. kitchendoor

    That is so gross. You are like a pied piper of gross packaged desserts, like they just follow you wherever you go. It’s staggering.

  2. Howie

    That is awesome…it is a guilty pleasure for sure…alomost felt like I was there and gonna get caught…

  3. adri

    hmmm hmmmm chocolate bananas!!!!!!

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