Letter to Santa

Dear Santa,

I know you are very busy this time of year, but I am not writing in request of any toys (although, I wouldn’t be opposed to an ice cream maker, nor a nice, new fluted pastry wheel….with which I could make you a delicious linzer tart).  I am writing because I imagine that you must be the world’s utmost cookie expert.  I would like nothing more for Christmas than your insight. 

I expect with worldwide traveling and children leaving you cookies wherever you go, you consider yourself to be quite the cookie connoisseur and while, I’m sure you must enjoy cutout cookies decorated in your likeness (because who wouldn’t like a cookies made in their likeness?), what is you favorite cookie?  I am partial to the Peanut Butter Blossom, although I’m not sure why those are associated with Christmas at all.  I believe they should be an all occasion cookie. Thoughts? 

What is the most interesting cookie you’ve ever tasted?  One time, I made a chocolate chip cookie with potato chips in it, but I don’t think I’ll make them again and certainly won’t subject you to them on Christmas night.  The chips turned soggy….and chewy.  It was not one of my most successful culinary experimentations.  Then again, I was twelve years old. 

Does Martha Stewart leave you cookies?  If so, what does she leave you? How do they compare to my cookies?  Perhaps there is a Santa Privacy Clause, which contractually restricts you from divulging that sort of information.  Anyway, I digress.  These questions are neither here nor there.

Hypothetical:  If one were to open a bakery, what cookies should the owner sell to best guarantee financial success?  My guess is a bangin’ chocolate chip cookie… Can I use the work bangin’?  Is that a naughty list word?  I apologize if it is.  The word “bangin’,” has become a qualifier of exceptional deliciousness at Corporate the Giant that has unfortunately slipped into my lexicon.

I would love to hear your thoughts and certainly hold your cookie insight in very high regard. 

Respectfully yours,




Filed under Uncategorized

5 responses to “Letter to Santa

  1. kitchendoor

    What I love about that picture is that even though you cut Michael out of it, I can picture exactly what he looks like. What up, 1992.

    This was delightful. And so are you.

  2. Christine + Jackie

    We love the pic mariss!! The letter is adorable and very funny. Merry Christmas! Hope to see you soon!!


  3. sorellaaglio

    I love love love this. I love it.

  4. Lauren

    Quite simply this is genius writing. Anyone who doesn’t see that you’re bursting with talent (and amazingly witty writing) is obviously blind. Love it and love you lady!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s